Kiss
Puke
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
