just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
