You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
My vagina just clenched in fear
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize