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• (956): View more from Texas

  What do you think she thinks of us?

  (1-956): View more from Texas

  I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us

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• (559): View more from California

  So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best

  (310): View more from California

  and??

  (559): View more from California

  Cake is only good when you eat it

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer

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• (530): View more from California

  He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away

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• (801): View more from Utah

  he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  ttyl tear gas

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• (567): View more from Ohio

  He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots

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• (318): View more from Louisiana

  Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Only if I get to be Gritty

  (1-267): View more from Pennsylvania

  How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Don't worry about it.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.

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