My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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