he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I just want to make out with him forever
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
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