I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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