She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I just want nice things and good sex
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
