4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Randomize
