stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
