Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
