Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
