You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
