I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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