Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
