You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
