I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
