You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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