We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
