Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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