My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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