I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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