i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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