margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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