i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
