i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
