Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
