I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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