You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
