He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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