i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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