apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
This show inspires me to have sex in space
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You need Xanax blowdarts
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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