the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
