you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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