they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
