Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Randomize
