I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
