Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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