Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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