i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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