don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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