Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
