My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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