her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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