I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
