That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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