I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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