those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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