he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
