sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
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