Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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