it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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