If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
