At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize