I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
