You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
