You're so nebulous sometimes
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
