I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
