Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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