Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
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