Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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