RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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