why didn't you poke me back
youre lurking in front of me
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
operation have a gay friend backfired
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
