I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
