Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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