Nicole vs. Life
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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