If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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