We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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